Down and Stupid

I wish this was a better post, but I'm feeling down, and none of the less, stupid. And I need to rant.

 I knew from the beginning of our D/s relationship that Master was getting over a crush with a vanilla girl that couldn't work, and I thought things would get better for Him, especially with Him owning me. Now it's been about 5 months or so since He's owned me, but yet He still can't get over this girl who probably has more than me going for her at the moment. But what makes it worse is that I get to see His posts on other social networking sites about Him missing her and His pain for her and so on without talking to me, as his doll and sub, about it. He got me to admit to Him that I love Him and how much I care for Him not only as a Master, but as a person as well. so naturally I'm feeling heartbroken tonight.

So yes, I do feel stupid. I feel stupid for falling easily. I feel stupid that I know what my options are with the possible consequences, yet don't know what to do. I've been #2 in some of my other relationships in the past (with and without me knowing at the time) and I know I can't handle it again. I can honestly say that this is probably one of the loneliest times of my life, and that this is the longest I've ever been single in about 7-8 years: no one to openly talk to, hug, cuddle, kiss, fuck, or even hear "I love you". and it's not like I can "move on" and find a boyfriend or girlfriend (yes, I'm bisexual if you didn't know already), or even a fuck buddy because I don't want to get tied down to someone where I'm from because I'd like to move out of state for graduate school.

So maybe He'll read this, maybe He won't. Either way thank you for reading this.
-DS<3